Never the Twain
Creator
Johnnie Mortimer
Never the Twain is a British sitcom that ran for eleven series from 7 September 1981 to 9 October 1991. It was created by Johnnie Mortimer, and was the only sitcom he ever created without his usual writing partner, Brian Cooke. Mortimer wrote the entirety of the first two series and four episodes out of six of the eighth, with the rest being mainly written by Vince Powell and John Kane.
It starred Windsor Davies and Donald Sinden as rival antique dealers, and also starred Derek Deadman, Zara Nutley, Robin Kermode, Tacy Kneale, Julia Watson, Honor Blackman, Teddy Turner and Maria Charles.
The title is taken from the Rudyard Kipling poem; The Ballad of East and West.
Seasons
11
Episodes
67
Country
—
Status
Ended
Cast
Donald Sinden
Simon Peel · 67 eps
Windsor Davies
Oliver Smallbridge · 67 eps
Teddy Turner
Banks · 64 eps
Derek Deadman
Ringo · 49 eps
Maria Charles
Mrs Sadler · 32 eps
👤
Zara Nutley
Aunt Eleanor · 20 eps
Julia Watson
Lyn Peel · 18 eps
Robin Kermode
David Peel · 18 eps
Honor Blackman
· 17 eps
👤
Tacy Kneale
Lyn Peel · 6 eps
👤
Christopher Morris
David Peel · 6 eps
Gabrielle Drake
Caroline Montague · 2 eps
Margaret Courtenay
Lady Deveraux · 2 eps
Jeremy Sinden
2nd Policeman · 2 eps
Georgine Anderson
Sybil Wainwright · 1 eps
Norman Mitchell
George · 1 eps
Shirley Anne Field
Stephanie · 1 eps
Christopher Ellison
Bernie Miller · 1 eps
Barbara Murray
Janis Hunter · 1 eps
Prunella Scales
Susan Peel · 1 eps
Barbara Rosenblat
Mrs Hardy · 1 eps
John Savident
Mr. Wilde · 1 eps
Renu Setna
Mr. Khan · 1 eps
Gerald Campion
Customer · 1 eps
Peter Dennis
Vicar · 1 eps
Sharon Morgan
Myfanwy · 1 eps
Keith Drinkel
Leslie · 1 eps
Anna Quayle
Isadora Beecham · 1 eps
Russell Waters
Customer · 1 eps
Daphne Oxenford
Mrs Scott · 1 eps
Reviews
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Where to Watch
Streaming
ITVX Episode Guide
1
Families At War
The feuding fathers find out about the relationship between their son and daughter and consider taking steps to prevent a marriage.
2
Of Meissen Men
Veronica appears on the scene - causing Simon and Oliver to compete for more than antiquities.
3
A Night At The Opera
Veronica wants to go to the opera in Edinburgh. Simon and Oliver each compete to be her date. Simon has to find a replacement au pair.
4
A Matched Pair
Oliver's antiques shop is burgled. A pair of pistols is reported missing, but when these mysteriously turn up in Simon's shop Oliver turns this misfortune into an opportunity to make money from an insurance claim. Simon is arrested when a police officer spots the pistols in his shop window. To encourage Oliver to assist him in getting the charges dropped he agrees to help Oliver get membership at his golf club.
5
Nothing But The Truth
Oliver beats Simon to a painting they both want. But is it a Constable or not? David confesses propositioning another woman, jeopardising their engagement.
6
Father Of The Groom
Simon holds a dinner for Oliver, Lyn and David, his ulterior motive being to expose Oliver's lack of etiquette. Lyn prepares for her move into Simon and David's home. David and Lyn's wedding day arrives.
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